


Instinct

by SmallTimeWriter



Series: Derek and Addison [3]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Addison - Freeform, F/M, Grey's Anatomy - Freeform, Mentions Meredith Grey, Prom, Richard - Freeform, addison and derek, derek - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25649932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallTimeWriter/pseuds/SmallTimeWriter
Summary: The first instinct was the right one.
Relationships: Addison Montgomery/Derek Shepherd
Series: Derek and Addison [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186814
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Instinct

**Author's Note:**

> Instinct
> 
> Authors Note/Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, that credit is for the writers and creators.
> 
> .
> 
> Summary: The first instinct was the right one.

"Derek,"

Derek glanced away from Meredith and the vet at the sound of Richard's voice, there he stood in front of him with Adele and Camille. "Hi,"

Camille reached forward to shake his hand, and Derek took it willingly. "I just wanted to say thank-you, Doctor Shepherd for the necklace." She lightly touched the piece of jewelry hanging around her neck. "It was very thoughtful,"

Derek tried to maintain a neutral expression, though confusion flooded his body. He hadn't brought her a gift. "I..."

"You'll thank your wife won't you? I don't see her anywhere."

Derek's gaze briefly flicked around the room, looking for Addison but he couldn't see her anywhere. In fact, he hadn't recalled seeing her all night, not that he had been looking for her. His eyes had been focused in on Meredith. She was dating the vet. He couldn't begin to wrap his head around it. "I...yes, I'll pass on your thanks. I hope you enjoy tonight."

"You too." Camille allowed Adele to lead her away but Richard remained.

"No idea about the gift huh?" He question looking amused, the same thing occurred between him and Adele regularly. He watched as Derek's gaze flickered around the room again. "She's not here."

"I can see that." Derek mumbled, why hadn't he noticed that she wasn't here before. She had texted him earlier saying that she would meet him here, but she hadn't showed. The gift, she must have been around to give it to Camille. "The gift..."

Richard hummed. "Yes, she gave it to me on her way upstairs. A patient, I believe." Richard looked at Derek, he looked tired. "Derek; I believe I have said this before, but Addison loves you. She gave up a lot to move out here."

"She moved for a job."

"We both know that isn't true. The job was merely a bonus. Addie moved to be with you because you made the choice to stay with her. You chose Addison, and now you need to let Meredith go." He placed his hand on Derek's shoulder. "I've been where you are before Derek, two beautiful women and what could have been two very different but wonderful lives and let me tell you, the first instinct is always the right one."

"Eleven years." Derek mumbled, he'd been married to Addison for eleven years but he had been with her since they were young and getting ready to make there way towards being doctors

Richard nodded. "Eleven years is a lot of time Derek; a lot of life you have lived together." He saw Adele smile at him from across the room. "I've got to go see my wife, maybe you should go see yours."

He watched Richard walk away and his eyes once again went to Meredith, there she was holding the hand of the vet, looking up at him with those eyes he had stared into, those eyes that he thought held the answer to a fresh start.  
Was a fresh start what he needed? He had spent every moment since he saw her in bed with Mark blaming her, shouting at her, hating her for ruining their marriage but he had never stopped to consider that the downfall had already started. He had never admitted to her that perhaps he played his own part, that he had neglected her. Why was it so hard to look past all that and focus on their future?

The necklace. It was from them both, she'd signed it from them. Just as she always did.

He closed his eyes and saw it...

_"Derek,"_

_"I have to go, I'm being paged."_

_"Okay, thanks again for the gift...Florence loves it. I'll be listening to disney for the next few weeks til we go."_

_/_

_"Thank-you for the gift, it's going to be wonderful to get a night away from the children. We really need it after the last few months. Thanks Der._

_/_

_"Der, you made her day. Your present was the first one she tore open and she hasn't stopped smiling all day. Thank-you."_

_/_

The words played over and over in his mind. None of it was him. When Nancy had called to thank him for Flo's present he had been wrapped up in his first day at his new job that he didn't even think to question it, he just said no problem and moved on.  
And then when Lizzie texted, he had just left Meredith's house after their first night together, he was late. He opened it, scanned the words, sent her a quick no problem and tucked the phone back away.  
Then Lizzie rang again, she rang and thanked him for yet another present. It had been three days ago. Again he answered with a no problem and was going to ask Addison but he'd been paged and then he'd forgotten and he never mentioned it.

It was Addison, she must have sent all those gifts. She remembered and she had sent gifts even though they weren't together for two of those. It was all Addison.  
God, Meredith knew he had sisters didn't she? She knew but she never asked any questions about them, she never wanted to know any of the details. Addison loved the details, she wanted to find out every piece of information she could before she had met them.

He tore his eyes away from Meredith and turned around, he had to find her.

/

There she was standing at the nurses station, in her dark blue scrubs and pink crocs, her hair down and stethoscope hanging around her neck. It seemed natural to him, to see her looking like that with no ridiculous high heels or nicely pressed skirts with a blouse. Not that he minded when she dressed up, it was just that this look had to be by far his favorite.  
He hadn't paid that much attention to her since she arrived. Work was work and he tried not to allow their messed up relationship interfere with it but he should have paid her more attention especially at work when he saw her like this. This version of Addison reminded him why he fell for her. The way she reassured her patients, delved deep into the case and cared a little to much. It was the Addison he remembered from back then.

He saw her hand the chart to the nurse, and then he made his way forward. He gripped her by the elbow, firmly enough that she couldn't pull out of his grasp.

"Derek," She shrieked his name, surprised.

He pulled her into the nicu, it wasn't the most private but he doubted the babies in the room would reveal anything. "You,"

Addison pulled out of his grasp. "What has got into you? You should be at the prom."

"No I should be here." It was the first response that popped into his head, the right response. "You asked me this morning, why, why I chose to give you a second chance." He saw her confused expression, clearly she didn't know why he was bringing this up now. "Eleven years. That is eleven birthdays. Eleven Christmases and eleven thanksgivings. I wasn't willing to throw that all away, not without giving it another shot. Eleven years is a lot of time, I didn't want to pretend those years didn't matter."

Addison stared at him, she wasn't certain what was happening. This morning he hadn't wanted to speak about it, he had used his favorite saying _Not now, Addison_ and walked away. It was always not now but yet here he was, standing in front of her. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened. "Are you..."

"Camille thanked me for the necklace."

"Oh," Addison raised her eyebrow just slightly, this was what that was about. "I thought it would be..."

"I didn't know about the necklace."

"Derek, you didn't..."

He shook his head. "Of course I didn't say that, she said to say thank-you to you." He raised his eyebrow at her. "You brought the necklace and signed it from the both of us."

"The money came from the joint account. You paid for it as much as I." Despite where the money came from, they both knew it wasn't why she had done it.

"It reminded me, since I've been here in Seattle, my sisters have contacted me three times to thank me...to thank me for gifts I didn't send." He saw her nod just slightly, it was a nod of acknowledgement not one of surprise. "You sent them gifts. Lizzie called me three days ago to thank me for Janie's gift, I was meant to ask but I got busy." He knew how it sounded, he was busy, always to busy to just stop and speak to her. "You sent Janie the gift." He focused on the most recent one.

Addison sighed, was this another accusation. The type where he would tell her that she had no right? "I wasn't about to let them be forgotten. Despite what was, I mean is, going on between us, I didn't forget, the one for Flo, the one for Lizzie, I only signed them with your name. I thought, well, I knew you would have told them but I knew you wouldn't remember so I sent the gifts. I signed Janie's one with our names, but only because we are trying, Derek."

He stared at her for a moment, not knowing the first two had been only in his name. She had done that just for him, she hadn't taken any of the credit, so had just done it so no one had gotten left behind. "You sent them for me?"

Addison nodded, the look on her, the way her features softened had her looking so vulnerable. "Yes."

"Janie." He recalled the latest birthday, the one just passed with the gift signed from the both of them "You could have sent your own gift, or reminded me that it was her birthday but you picked it, you signed it, you sent it." He tried to find the right words. "You signed it from the both of us."

"Of course, she is your niece."

"Our niece." He corrected offhandedly, before that night, he never would have had to. It was always our never yours. "You remember it all, you always have. Every date, and there is a lot of them." He had a lot of nieces and a lot of nephews. Then there was his sisters, his brother in-laws and his mother. "You take the time to pick the perfect gift, tailored to each individual."

Addison nodded, birthdays and Christmas brought her a lot of joy. "No sense in gifting something they will dislike. Besides they are occasions that bring me joy, I love gift giving."

Derek knew that, she always picked the thoughtful gifts and found the joy in watching others open them. "You always remember." His shoulders sagged just slightly, rubbing one of his hands through his hair.

Addison gave him a small smile, wondering if the reason he was saying this was because he felt guilty that he hadn't remembered his own families birthdays. "Derek, I sent the gifts, none of them know that you forgot. You don't need to worry."

"It's not that." He let his eyes capture hers, this time he didn't see Mark, when he looked at her he didn't see that night, he just saw her. Addison. "I think I told Meredith I have sisters, I think I told her about all the kids." He saw the hurt flash briefly in her eyes but she concealed it. She was always so good at concealing her feelings but he was good to, good at reading her. "I told her, I must have but she has never asked any more questions." He smiled at her, and he saw her very, very hesitant smile. "You asked all the questions when we first met. They didn't exist yet but my sisters did and you wanted to know all that you could. You memorized their birthdays, tagging them on your calendar the very first night, which makes you sound crazy."

"Derek!" She scolded him, lightly smacking him on the arm but he just chuckled. "They are your family, I wanted you to know how important they were going to be to me. How important they still are."

Derek reached out, his hands going to her hips and he pulled her into him, she gasped and placed her hands on his shoulders. "I never told her about Amelia, about the addiction. I just," He was going to say that there was never a time, but in truth, he wasn't sure he would ever tell her. Amelia was very much his favorite sibling, though he would never admit that to anyone other then Addison. She was his favorite because to her he had to be more then a brother, he had to be her father figure and Addison always encouraged him to do whatever he could to support Amelia. "When Mom couldn't have Amy in the house, you were beside me, pushing me to be the one to take her. Amelia spent the entire summer with us, and you worked hard to make sure she thrived."

Addison smiled fondly, she remembered every inch of that summer. It had been, for lack of a better term, wonderful. They had worked as a team to take care of Amelia and get her up to speed with school, working with her to help her correct the bad grades she had gotten during the year. The teenager had thrived and their marriage had been stronger then ever. "We worked hard."

"I couldn't imagine having to do that with anyone else. You helped me piece Amy back together. You helped me step up when I didn't think there was anything I could do. You made me be the better man." Without her heels, she was a bit shorter them him, and he reached out and tilted her chin up with his fingers. "I was indifferent, back in New York before Mark." He admitted softly.

"Yes." She whispered the word, but she knew it would be clear to him.

"I was absent."

Addison raised her eyebrow slightly, she had been trying since she arrived in Seattle to get him to understand. Yes she had committed an offence against their vows, she'd hurt him, but he had hurt her with his absence in their marriage and he was finally admitting it. The shock was evident within her body. "Yes."

Derek breathed deeply, his eyes wandering all over her face. "I am partly to blame for what happened to our marriage."

Addison shivered, all those words she had wished for him to say to her. All she had wanted was for him to acknowledge his part. If he acknowledged it then maybe they could move forward. "Yeah." Her voice was quiet, so very quiet.

Derek leaned his head down, his lips just beside her ear. "I'm sorry, Addie. I'm very sorry." He pulled back and kissed her temple, his arms circling around her waist and he hugged her, he hugged her tight.

Addison didn't know what was happening, she didn't know what to say. This was a completely different Derek to the one she had seen this morning. "Derek," She murmured his name, she wanted to hear what had happened to make him see things this way.

"I'm going to try harder, Addie; we are going to make this work." He promised to her, placing a kiss on her cheek. "I am going to do better."

"Derek," She pulled back eyes flickering across his face. "What's happening?"

Derek's eyes bore into hers. "I made a choice, you are my choice, Addie. I love you." He kissed her briefly on the lips and went back to hugging her. All Derek could hear in his mind was Richard's words.

_The first instinct is the right one._

Addie was his instinct. He'd chosen her years ago and he wouldn't let her go now. This was a second chance for them both to do better. A chance for him to show her that he cared, that he would be there for her. His arms held her securely to his body. How had he not seen this before? She was important to him and he never planned to walk away from her.

"I love you too." Addison whispered in his ear, holding him tight to her. She didn't know where this had come from but she wasn't going to let go, not ever.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think?
> 
> Much Love. x


End file.
